5 Reasons you SHOULDN’T get married in your 20s

5 Reasons you SHOULDN’T get married in your 20s

As you may know, me and my wife, Dahcia, got married on May 22, 2014– about 2.5 months ago. I proposed on Valentine’s Day (this year) and shortly after posting the video of how it happened online- it went viral, garnering over 40k views in one week.

Here’s the video:

Three short months after the proposal, we were saying ‘I do!’

The proposal made its way to some amazing people who loved our story so much that they decided to sponsor our entire wedding. From photography and venue, to makeup and a $25k wedding gown, everything was paid for. The wedding ceremony was even filmed and it aired on Fox News NY a month after the wedding.

So now, I’ve been married for 2.5 months and I wanted to share the five things I wish I knew before getting married.

1. You’re forced to find yourselves and grow together

Look, I’m 24 years old and Dahcia is 23. It’s safe to say that we still have some growing to do. Now be honest, do you really want to be on a journey to find yourself with somebody else tagging along? It’s already implied in the phrase, find YOURself.

Wouldn’t you rather just grow all by yourself? Life is full of challenges that are made to help us improve both mentally and spiritually- I don’t know about you but I’d much rather face these challenges all by myself. Who needs help and support from someone who loves and cares about them, right?

2. You won’t get to sleep around

Now this is a big one. Having an intimate relationship with the same person for the rest of your life? But you’re young! Isn’t sleeping around what you’re supposed to do when you’re young? I mean, yes, there’s the chance that you can contract a sexually transmitted disease or infection and have to deal with whatever else is out there… But c’mon, you’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you.

3. You have to share everything!

Remember that diet you’ve been meaning to get on or that new car that you wanted to buy? Well, being married means your significant other might just join you on that healthy eating journey or even help you purchase that car. Here’s the problem- it’s YOUR diet. It’s YOUR car. They’re YOUR bills. All yours. Like I said- too much sharing.

4. You may end up being a young grandparent

Let’s say you wind up getting married at 22 and have a child two years later… fast forward 25 years- your oldest child is now in his mid-twenties, married, and expecting a child of his own.

It’s insane! You’re now in your 50s and you have a grandchild. Who would ever want to be grandparent in their fifties and have the chance to play basketball or baseball with their grand kids… or even teach them a thing or two about baking?

No sir, not me. I’ll pass.

5. Happiness is overrated

Statistics say married men are 135% happier than single men. But happiness is overrated. I mean who needs a loving and caring partner?

If you’ve stuck around, you probably think this article should really be called “5 Reasons you SHOULD get married in your 20s”.

Although I’ve known Dahcia for 5 years prior to being married, I can’t even tell you how much happier we’ve been since getting married.

There’s just something about having someone who understands you, trusts you, cares about you, and is willing to grow with you.

Dahcia and I do everything together and it’s great! We workout together, we go to church together, we write together (this article, among other things), we binge watch TV shows together, we laugh together, we gossip together, we travel together, we pray together, we read together, and we even work together.

If you’re in your 20s and you’re thinking about getting married, I’d say go for it! Life is too short to hold out on the amount of happiness you will have with your new husband/wife.

Of course, just make sure they’re truly the one for you.

If you’d like to read our story or watch our videos, visit our website or click the image below.

jd_banner married 5 Reasons you SHOULDN'T get married in your 20s jd banner

We’d love to hear from other young couples out there. Tell us in a comment below your thoughts on getting married in your 20s.

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  • Remington Parris

    I got married at the age of 23 and my wife was 25 at the time. However, we have continued to willing learn to be each others allies. Glad 4 the day God allowed me to meet her.

    • That’s an amazing testimony. I pray for infinite joy + blessings on your relationship.

  • Mystique McDonald

    My husband was 26 and I was 20 when we got married…we often say we saved each other. 🙂 We celebrated 10 years in June and just brought home our 5th baby. We are happy to have each other and love to tell young people about the joys of marriage. God has truly blessed us.

    • That’s fantastic. I’m looking forward to my 10 year, 20 yr, and more. @mystiquemcdonald:disqus, do you have any tips on young couples and having kids?

    • Tisia LaLa Rivera

      Definitely beautiful. 10 years can be a long time with someone you dislike but probably feels like you twl are meeting each other for the first time everyday with someone you Love. Keep going strong!

  • Miriam

    I love this article! It is inspiring and uplifting! I love that you guys are christians also! I recently had a few friends get engaged and two get married, All between the ages of 20-23. I personally would like to finish college, get my masters degree, and then tie the knot with whomever God sees fit! I’ll be 23 at the end of all of that and I think that’s the perfect age to start planning a wedding. Keep inspiring people with your beautiful story!

    • Thanks for reading Miriam. Do stay in touch and let me know when you find the right person that God sees fit! 🙂

  • lauren tucker

    So reading the title of this article I just knew I was going to be amazed , either in shock or truly uplifted. I haven’t met you Jacques but Dahcia thinks your great so I do to . I just loved this article it was very captivating. Congrats on your Happiness and I’m happy that you guys are sharing your journey with us!!!

    • Thank you for reading Lauren. It’s nice to meet you digitally 😉

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  • AngelCryssi

    lovely article! I don’t see ntn wrong building in your 20s with the one you love. I’m 24 and my fiance is 27 and we are growing together and I love it! saving to get married in November! congrats on your wedding. praying we can get the help from our friends and families with ours too. God is good

    • That’s fantastic Angel. I hope you meet your goals for November 🙂

    • Hey Angel. I’m checking in. Did you guys get married yet :D?

      • AngelCryssi

        Aww it is actually next week!! Thanks for asking 🙂

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  • Tisia LaLa Rivera

    I must say, this was very nice to read. I enjoy you and your wife’s story and the many things you two continue to do to show how much you not only enjoy each other’s company, but the love and care You two share. It’s also a wonderful thing that you two are not shy to share your journey, successes, experiences, etc. with other people. I love hearing about successful relationships, especially involving people of color.

    I know many people, especially in this generation, shy away from marriage more and more (I think) due to the lack of they’re own understanding of what it means to be married and/or what they’re reason would be to getting married. I once felt that way but first I ALWAYS said I was going to get married. I would speak it into resistance before really even knowing what that meant to me. I just knew it was the “thing to do.” Through later experiences in my life and due to my lifestyle I later came to the conclusion that I couldn’t get married and have kids because it would be unfair to my family. I was thinking that a life of a performer is no life for my husband and kids. I wouldn’t be around enough due to possibly traveling all the time, being on call, trying to find work and living a dream. But then due to the grace of God; him opening my eyes to the true person I am, the kind of person I am, I came to an understanding that a person like me deserves to be married. A person like me deserves to be loved unconditionally, cared for, treated with respect, catered to, valued, and praised. Someone who deserves to have kids to raise, a hand to hold, a life to mold. Someone who deserves Gods love in a different form.

    In saying this I believe everyone is deserving. It’s up to us to believe that we are and just let it happen instead of wanting it soooo bad and doubting that “someone” is out there for them.

    Now getting back to your question about getting married in your twenties: I never really and still don’t know when the right time is to get married. Ideally I probably would want to get married in my twenties but because I’m in my twenties now And not married or engaged to get married I’m not going to panick And rush to make it happen. I believe couples can and should build their relationship before engagement and without engagement. Ask themselves questions about what it means to be married to them, understand each other’s perspective on things, decide if there are things they are willing to sacrifice, share, combine. I think it should be talked about before acted upon. But wether in your twenties, thirties, forties, it’s something that should be talked about.

    That’s all for now 🙂